As a young boy, I suffered from severe dermatitis, which filled my limbs with ulcers and scars. The major problem I noticed with these essays was the length of your paragraphs.
Free Sample Business School Application Essays and Free Sample MBA Admission Essays
I am in the United States now in order to further my education, improve my English, and make sure that I have the skills to work effectively with business leaders from everywhere in the world... For instance, I replaced the phrase, "the program can deepen expertise," with, "such a program will deepen my expertise. The summer after I graduated from primary school, my disease improved dramatically. Your service was worth every penny and I would definitely recommended EssayEdge to my friends currently applying for B-schools. By the time I moved to Canada, I had fully recovered both socially and physically. They encouraged me to hope for the future, teaching me that any obstacle could be overcome. Tell us about an external influence a person, an event, etc. This paragraph was too wordy, and many of your arguments were redundant.
Sample MBA Application Essay, MBA Essay
Home Business School Graduate School Medical School SAMPLE ESSAY OPENING PARAGRAPH I have been hoping and planning to earn an MBA for the past six years since graduating from college and am excited to now be on the cusp of making that dream a reality. The first few sentences of your original draft seemed too self-pitying. I learned what true leadership is, and the experience undoubtedly improved my ability to handle challenging business situations. EssayEdge significantly improves each essay using the same voice as the author.